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Hello and welcome Bloody Elbow readers, for you it’s now almost the end of 2023 but for Victor Rodriguez and myself it’s still 2013. We’ve spent the last couple months working our way through The Ultimate Fighter 18: Ronda Rousey vs Miesha Tate, and it feels like we’re being punished by the ghost of Christmas past. Last week was a cluster____ when the Bollinger/Gutierrez fight was nixed after Cody couldn’t make weight, which led to the Peggy Morgan and Sarah Moras fight being bumped up.
With Team Tate’s Sarah submitting Ronda Rousey’s Peggy and Cody’s forfeit we now have our four semi-final fights set. Holdsworth/Wootten, Julianna Pena/Moras, Davey Grant/Gutierrez, and Raquel Pennington/Rakoczy.
Ronda Rousey the bartender
DS: OH ____ ME! When I said Anthony Gutierrez deserved to be boiled in oil because of his behavior while drunk, I meant it. And I feel the same way right now because the episode opens in the TUF house with him pouring shots of vodka for a few of his female teammates and he freely admits that he’s trying to get them drunk. Now he could be kidding around, but given that we saw him crawl into bed with several sleeping women, this just gives off even more serious predator vibes.
Then Ronda Rousey shows up with bags of fast food, does a round of vodka shots, and then reveals she used to be a bartender by making batches of chocolate daiquiris. Okay, vodka only exists to make other things alcoholic, it’s not intended to be drunk straight up. And if you are drinking it that way then it’s because something went really wrong in your life within the last couple hours.
As a former bartender, Ronda Rousey should know this. So add it to the list of things she doesn’t have the best judgment on, after personal relationships and coaches. Also, drinking straight from the pitcher? Bad form!
VR: Even assuming Anthony doesn’t have any malicious intent, how does he not know that’s a bad look? And to admit it on camera, of all things, as if it were cute. I get that these people are bored to tears and not experienced with being in the public eye AND also not media trained in any capacity. This is still the kind of thing that makes you wonder why that didn’t get cut out. Even if he had no ill intentions, this made everyone look bad and him specifically like a guy that can’t be trusted around women.
Ronda Rousey showing up and spending some time being nice is good. Kind of like when Miesha showed up with the baked goods, you know? Let the coaches be seen as people as well. That’s a great thing to showcase. And I’m with you on the vodka thing, but I also have a lot of sensibilities of a man in his 70s. I take my vodka straight with no ice. Finally, In-N-Out is fine. I’ll never understand why people love to hate it so much.
Stop being a weenie
DS: Outside Sarah and Raquel are talking and it seems neither one is very happy with Miesha, they feel she was playing favorites with the booking (possibly) even though Dana White had the final say on that.
VR: Meh. Is what it is.
DS: The strife within Team Tate continues during their training session where Raquel and Sarah feel that Miesha is focusing most of her efforts on Juliana and Chris. It could be a valid complaint or it could be just a small case of sour grapes. Keep in mind this is “reality tv” where we only see what the production crew wants us to see.
Roxanne Modafferi, always 10lbs of sunshine in a 5lb bag, remains positive and says that she doesn’t think anyone is playing favorites. Louis Fisette is another fighter who feels they’re being ignored while others get all the shine. If you don’t remember, Louis lost his elimination fight to get into the house and then became an injury replacement for Tim Gorman, then lost his next eliminator fight to Grant. So him getting in a huff over being asked to spar with Chris, stitches or not, is just sour grapes. And besides, isn’t that what they make headgear for?
He’s acting like such a weenie here, he got two bites at the apple and came up short. Life sucks and it isn’t fair, get used to it. Louis would only fight once more after this show, in Oct 2014 he notched a win in some promotion called XFFC and then retired with a 7-1 record.
VR: OK, but is it really playing favorites to prioritize fighters that have upcoming fights? Am I misunderstanding or missing something here? I’m sure it sucks to keep training even if you’re already out, but all it takes is for one person to slip on a banana peel for you to be back in. We’ve seen that too many times on this show. Besides, you still get to train and have access to these coaches. If you’re fortunate enough to have a good set of coaches, you get some looks outside of your normal environment and comfort zone. It’s not perfect, but it’s something.
Full throttle
DS: The coaches and the fighters who haven’t been eliminated yet are brought to what looks like an airport hangar where Harley Davidson has set up several bikes for them to check out and demo, and I swear I heard one of them actually make “VROOM VROOM!” sounds. It’s my opinion that motorcycles are stupid and are little more than a great way to get yourself seriously injured or even killed.
And here comes then current UFC Heavyweight champion Cain Velázquez riding up on a Harley he probably got handed the keys to 10 minutes before. He’s trying to be an HD pitchman and motivational speaker, both at the same time. He tries to tie riding, training, and fighting all together and just faceplants. The whole segment is terribly forced and awkward. Don’t try to cross pollinate like this.
VR: Nah, I love motorbikes despite rarely ever riding them. The sponsor showcases for this show have always been hilarious to me because of how ham-fisted they’ve always been. But the production for this little scene was pretty good.
Ronda Rousey brings in… a Diaz brother…
DS: Victor, you knew what Ronda Rousey was up to, didn’t you? You knew and you didn’t tell me. Welp, I’m gonna make like Nick did for Nate when he fought Thompson and throw in the towel. Would you kindly tag me back in when he’s off the screen, please?
VR: Oh, let your heart thaw out, baby. (DS: NEVAH!!!) Don’t be so mean. I feel like most if not all of the Diaz brothers tantrums of days past have aged very well as of late. They may have been crass and acted in a petulant manner, but they’ve been proven right. Also, he’s training these guys in submission grappling and submission defense. Wasn’t it actually nice to not have another scene of Edmond calling the shots and giving good advice? Wasn’t it refreshing to see Manny and Nate passing on valuable and useful strategy and technique?
DS: It was great that I could hit fast forward till the segment ended. That’s the best you’re getting from me.
Back at The Ultimate Fighter house, we’re seeing the other side of the coin as far as who’s getting the lion’s share of the attention during training. Chris feels like an outcast because no one wants to work with him when all he did was win his fight. I mean I get it, there’s some jealousy and resentment, but it’s not as if Chris is strutting around like he’s King ____ Of ____ Mountain, he comes off as a very humble and level headed guy.
VR: Yeah, unless we’re missing something with the editing and post-production, I’m kinda lost here. This is where you wonder if this show is made by the same people that make Bad Girls Club, where motivations and emotions swing on a whim.
DS: Out of the blue Miesha Tate and Bryan Caraway show up armed with cans of silly string in an attempt to help break the tension that’s been going on.
VR: If I was coaching, I’d bring boxes of Connect Four, a Jenga kit, and a game of Twister. None of those are diminished by being drunk.
DS: I’d give them Cards Against Humanity. They could record it and later stream it on ESPN+ as an aftershow. Monopoly, UNO, poker, liar’s dice, or D&D. Just an hour of that would do way more to humanize the fighters and get them over with fans than what we get every week.
We’re still at the TUF house and now we’re focusing on Grant and Wootten. Both guys are seriously homesick and want to see their families. This is where true reality breaks through as there are only 5 shooting days left before everyone gets to go home and Michael can’t wait. Speaking as a homebody myself, I fully understand where he’s coming from, I can’t imagine having to spend 6 weeks living with someone like Anthony. I couldn’t get through that without snapping, no matter how much lubrication I was provided with.
TUF presents Mr. Coffee and a ceiling fan
VR: Oh, wow. There’s a scene that starts with a coffee maker percolating (you know what time it is) and an ugly Vegas-___ McMansion ceiling fan above this dude’s head as he preps to play Solitaire on his own. That film school money gotta shine through one way or another, baby.
DS: You know someone’s bored when they’re playing Solitaire with an actual deck of cards. That is spending all winter trapped in a cabin after an avalanche levels of bored. I was once stuck in a Super 8 motel room for 10 days with a TV and internet connection and I was still ready to start chewing the plaster after day 2.
VR: I could probably do the Motel 6 thing if the internet is reliable enough, I have access to my gaming consoles, and I have a space to work out. Might start to lose it on account of not being able to actually cook anything. Kitchens are my grounding space, my Fortress of Solitude, if you will.
Ronda Rousey’s team gets honest
DS: Cabin fever is real, take my word for it. Someone named Ando calls Mike over after a sparring session because he’s slow and flat footed. He apologizes for his performance and here’s the first instance where we hear the truth out of someone on Ronda Rousey’s team. Ando says “Sometimes, it’s not training in the correct way. And stop worrying about what people think of your hands.” I’m stunned, who knew that Idiot didn’t have everyone under his spell?
VR: OK, but what if he means that this dude brought bad habits from his usual gym and hasn’t shaken them out during his time in Vegas? INTRIGUE.
DS: All this stressing out over cutting weight is foreign to me, because prior to this the only TUF season I had seen was 10 and everyone was boozing it up and eating garbage, but everyone made weight because Heavyweights. This is one advantage of being a big guy, if I want to drop 5lbs all I have to do is go to the bathroom and belch.
VR: I’ve never cut weight, can’t imagine having to do it in these weird conditions.
DS: Dana says he might have been wrong in his initial evaluation of Chris’ skills. This coming from the same guy who said how many different fighters were “The NEXT Anderson Silva”? And how many of those predictions came true? Zero.
VR: And again, this show is terrible for evaluating who the next big star is going to be, especially considering the talent they’d bring on was usually in dire need of a lot of polish before hitting the big time. Rashad Evans, Michael Bisping, Michael Johnson, John Dodson, Ryan Bader… all of them were rough around the edges when they won. This show has never been, is not, and will never be about finding the next all-time great. And that’s fine. Just stop selling us this line already. It’s another vehicle for your broadcast partner to fork over more money to the guys in the suits.
Kim Winslow… AGAIN
DS: Oh no, no no no no. Not Kim Winslow AGAIN! WHY!? BEEBO HELP ME!
VR: Hey… HEY. That’s Taekwondo blackbelt Kim Winslow to you, bucko. Pay homage.
DS: Things are pretty even for the first 30 seconds of the fight, until Chris lands a takedown at 45 seconds and that’s when things shift firmly in his favor, Mike isn’t as lost on the ground as Peggy was but it’s clear Chris is in total control here.
VR: This dude walked out with a shirt that said “Human Chess” on it. MMA shirts have the laziest slogans for their cheap and poorly made apparel, man. Remember the slogans for Jon Jones during his brief Nike stint? “Not Quite Human”? No? Oh, humbug.
DS: Wasn’t that around the time when he somehow almost tore his big toe off while in the cage?
VR: I thought that anaconda choke was money, man. Looked like he had a not-so-perfect grip but a good enough bite. Wooten wasn’t tapping even though I initially thought he was out for a second. Then Chris does his best baby koala impression to climb on to Michael’s back. Those long and lanky dudes are the worst to deal with in grappling right along those “shaped like a refrigerator” guys that you can’t ever really nail their center of gravity for some reason. Flypaper grappling wins the day yet again as Coldsworth™ gets to the back, sinks in a choke for the win. Baller finish.
DS: I feel sorry for Wootten here, he had some skills and wasn’t a finished product but he had potential. Yet for reasons unknown, despite making it further than most others on the show, he was never offered a UFC contract while fighters like Beal, Duke, and Baszler were. He would fight twice more after TUF, both fights came in 2014 and then he retired with a perfect 9-0 record. I hope whatever he’s doing now, he’s happy and has no regrets.
VR: Same, seemed like a nice enough dude. Ronda Rousey and even Marina Shafir (who now is immersed in the pro-wrestling world) were emotional there as they consoled Michael. Another odd fight with a lovely finish. We’re really lucky we chose this season, because that’s a trend I can live with. We’ll see you next week. Until then, tip your waitresses and check your smoke detector batteries.
DS: Well actually we’re taking a couple weeks off for the holidays but Retro TUF Recaps will return on Jan 3rd with episode 11. Happy holidays and all that jazz, we’ll see you then… Victor! Hold up! I know what we can tell Santa what we want for Xmas!
