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Russia. A land that has always understood struggle and strife. A land that has given the world much in the way of martial arts. And in MMA circles, the list is absurdly long. Fedor Emelianenko, Igor Vovchanchyn, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Oleg Taktarov, Islam Makhachev, all of them undeniable talents and innovators in their own way. I’ll even throw in Volk Han from his RINGS days, if we’re feeling frisky.
Russia has given and given when it comes to talented fighters. You know what you don’t see much of? Martial arts frauds and hucksters. You also don’t see much of the guys that are very clearly just selling you the equivalent of a pet rock in a self-defense scenario.
Sure, there’s some of those guys out there. And then we have stuff like this, which is more of the Antonio Lee variety — a guy that is totally out of his depth and clearly has had little to no instruction, but decides he’s going to live out this combat cosplay come hell or high water.
Russian martial arts master (of his own domain)
We begin with another one from the vault courtesy of our mainest guy Jerry over at Fight Commentary Breakdowns. This older Russian gentleman is one of the most genuinely earnest people possible: the guy that loves martial arts but has no legit place to train.
So what does one do when that happens? They do what I do best. They improvise.
Now, Jerry did a little singing and some goofy stuff over this. Don’t mind that. Watch it with or without sound, makes no difference to me. But this is unique to me for a few reasons. First off, my man got a little playmate. No matter how much I root for people to encourage their homies in their misadventures and mischief, Mr. “We Ordered Fedor via Wish” should probably have not done this. Because this leans into my second point: they’re both old enough to know better.
And look, call me ageist all you want. There’s gotta be a point where you know that no-touch, death touch, or whatever the hell this is just isn’t real. These cats aren’t doing this because of some midlife crisis, this is for the love of the game. And in Russia, it seems like there’s no real oversight for that.
It all starts with slight tussle and a smack on the head.
Then he parries a rear hand thrown with the least amount of gusto possible, and it leads to a tie-up. Don’t get too excited, it’s not a Russian Tie. God, I wish it had been.
Got that? Bring both hands down, clamp on, do some amateur Wing Chun to hook under the opponent’s arm. Then grab your partner and do-see-do.
And this is where it gets really sad, because it seems the skinny dude is actually the teacher here. This isn’t two old dudes on equal footing. Not sure how they do sempai/sensei stuff in Russia, but that’s what this is starting to look like.
But check out this sweet striking.
Umpire calling it safe on third base, or Eagle’s Claw? don’t think about it too much.At this point even his training buddy isn’t too keen on keeping this thing going. Check out his body language.
Look at my man on the left. That’s the face of a kid that doesn’t wanna play anymore. I know for a fact they got XBoxes in Russia. That man is bored and has had enough, they could be doing literally anything else but this.
“Come, Pavel. Let us go home for to play the Bubble Bobble.”
Dambe showstopper
We’re back in Nigeria for African Warriors Fighting Championships, and this one’s just nuts. A spirited battle ends with a one-shot finisher, and it’s one you don’t want to miss.
Judo leg locks
YouTube user Chadi has a great breakdown of more classic grappling, this time with a focus on leg attacks in Judo. You can see the foundations of a lot of modern leglock attack systems in so much of it.
очищающее средство для неба
Look, Russia. We got off on the wrong foot when we started this whole thing, alright? Lemme make it up to you guys and your martial arts representation. Here’s some clips from the All-Russian Kyokushin 2021 competitions.
And some other assorted Kyokushin clips from Russia.
Bumbles from the Rumble
I’ve always loved Jackie Chan. From the moment I first saw a scene of his, it was his frenetic energy and dynamic yet fluid movement that drew me to him. His theater background led him to understanding how to use his body as either a weapon or an instrument for humor.
So we’ll close out the week with another Jackie Clip. This time, it’s the outtakes from the 90s classic Rumble in the Bronx, which was actually shot in Vancouver. The real jaw-dropper for me is how they shot Jackie doing stunts with a cast on that was painted over to look like a shoe. All so he could do more takes of the same stunt, after he had injured his ankle doing that same stunt earlier.
So with that, have some fun and stay safe out there. And go watch 30 Coins on Max if you haven’t already. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.