Hello and welcome UFC fans and Bloody Elbow readers. Victor Rodriguez and I are still here in 2013 and in search of a way back to 2023. We pushed the DeLorean to a tire shop for new rubber only to discover we didn’t have enough cash to cover it and that time travel will demagnetize your credit cards. So we remain trapped here until next week. Last week we were properly introduced to Idiot and the episode ended with a very angry and sad Ronda Rousey after her friend and heavy favorite Shayna Baszler was tapped out by Juliana Pena in the first tournament bout of the season.
As a result Team Blue remains in control of the matchmaking and Miesha Tate has chosen Chris Holdsworth to take on Ronda Rousey’s Chris Beal for tonight’s fight.
DS: We pick up right where we left off last week with Team Tate celebrating Pena’s victory and her being rewarded with a milkshake, Miesha even gives Shayna a slice of chocolate cake with a hug as a consolation prize. Back at the gym Ronda Rousey is admonishing her team for losing while Eddie The Idiot is standing there looking like the kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. We’re barely into this and it’s already time to take a shot.
VR: Lemme tell you this: I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Miesha Tate. She is exactly as nice and cool as you see in this segment. She didn’t have to do it, but she did. She clearly cares about and respects these fighters and that was a lovely gesture for someone that was really going through it. I get why Ronda Rousey was the way she was, too. Sometimes that kind of “tough love” training is what you know and what you’ve been brought up with. Problem is that it’s not universal and it won’t work for everyone. Edmond didn’t have much to say or do here, but that’s gonna change.
Ronda Rousey has a UFC sad
DS: On TUF 10 when Matt Mitrione leaked the future fights to Jackson’s team, he copped to it right away admitting “I’m an _______, it’s just what I am”. Now on the van ride to the gym, Julianna is being accused of doing the same thing by the rest of the team. So I guess this is just a storyline they use every season, like Barry Allen losing his powers on The Flash.
VR: I’m just bothered that it wasn’t as funny as Kendall Grove and his “Team Dagger” thing. That was actually kind of endearing. Look, you’ll have to forgive me for not caring. You don’t get the chance to have a full camp and perform at your best on this show, is it really cheating to know ahead of time who you’re probably facing? Only truly negative thing about this was how it was handled and the fact that Roxy got dragged into it.
DS: I’m sorry, I really want to move on from this segment but when Julianna points a finger at Roxy being the source of the alleged leak, Roxy’s head pops up from behind the back seat like a groundhog sticking its head out of its hole and it made me chuckle. I’ll take any moment of levity I can get here.
VR: Glad it was short-lived, the guys immediately were like “Nuh-uh, she’s a samurai”. Roxy is the best part of this show, it only makes sense she got brought back for a later season.
DS: Is this TUF or Big Brother? The most sexual tension I’m used to seeing on this show is when Wes Sims accused Zack Jensen of playing with himself in the shower without cleaning it up afterwards, leaving Wes to step in it.
VR: Nah, they’re just bored. It’s like prison, you deal with what you have around you. In this case it’s alcohol and people you find attractive. They’re all in the same age group, isolated from the world and engaged in athletic activity, that’s gonna get somebody wanting to mingle with someone at some point. I guess maybe in retrospect it seems more benign than it seems here. I’ll just take it as Chris Holdsworth being a guy that likes flirting and Julianna just kinda going with the flow.
DS: I think either the TUF production crew was hoping there would be more of this stuff for them to use or maybe there was and they’re just saving it for later in the season, either way I’m not looking forward to it. You know, I never really gave it much thought until right now but do you think there are TUF shippers out there? I mean it’s not that far-fetched of an idea is it?
VR: Nah, that requires some level of investment from the viewer to a degree that this show perhaps doesn’t really accommodate. You don’t see much evolution or growth from them as people, which may be by design. Sure, there’s a great emphasis on their tragedies and failures in the hopes of seeing them triumph. That alone seems to be the only cathartic quality of the show. But anything resembling interpersonal relationships on that level? I doubt it.
DS: Leave it to Ronda Rousey to evaluate the striking of a fighter who only has one fully working hand at the moment and give it the thumbs up. If you’ve ever really looked at the way she throws her punches it goes hand in hand (pun very much intended) with Idiot and his teachings.
Injured hand? Just wrap it up, you’ll be fine…
VR: Three things got me here: The sense of dread of seeing Edmond wrap Chris’ hands, Ronda Rousey talking about how she’s had open pitbull bites on her foot and not feeling it during a fight, and Beal wrapping up in a towel in the background. Was he wearing anything under that? Did the California commission not notice Ronda Rousey had an open wound? The joys of MMA, man. No matter how mainstream this sport gets, it’s always gonna have some painfully bush-league stuff.
DS: Everyone arrives at the… Red Rock Resort & Casino to watch a UFC Brazil event and they clearly didn’t go all out for this watch party. While there’s a pool table, food, and most importantly an open bar, the whole thing doesn’t exactly scream “WE’RE A MULTI BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY”. Maybe that’s why there’s an open bar, the more they drink the better the place looks?
VR: Ah, yes. The UFC Brazil era. Man, they strip-mined Brazil with their lazy Wednesday night cards, their two-a-day events and the inexplicably horrid pacing that had events ending at like 2:00am. The joys of sitting through a 14-bout card with only three ranked fighters and some truly awful main events along with a metric ton of no-names. By and large, those cards sucked after the first handful. Glad they had a chance to witness that along with us.
Ronda Rousey gives dating advice
DS: Like with her decision to have Idiot as her head coach, Ronda Rousey is really in no position to be questioning Miesha’s choice in boyfriends. Before getting together with and eventually marrying Travis Browne, Ronda Rousey was with Brendan Schaub of all people. Yes, the same guy who got knocked out by an 87 year old Big Nog in Brazil. The same one who’s constantly shoving his foot in his mouth on podcasts or twitter. And he’s the same one who owes his entire second career as a professional edgelord to Joe Rogan.
People in glass houses Ronda Rousey, that’s all I’m saying.
VR: This part is where it gets dicey to me. They’re at this viewing party with all the coaches and fighters together and Caraway’s sitting at the bar minding his business. Ronda Rousey comes over to address his comments online that he was gonna punch her teeth down her throat. Now, that’s unequivocally a horrible thing to say, and time has revealed him to be a massive jerkwad.
I’m not gonna get into Ronda Rousey’s dating life, it’s just sad and weird her two most publicly known relationships are two guys that have a habit of saying remarkably dumb stuff. But I get your point – questioning Tate’s choice of partner is rich when she ended up with guys that have had way bigger controversies.
Well someone thinks they’re a BAMF
DS: And right on cue, here’s Idiot running over like the good little lap dog he is because his meal ticket has summoned him. I’m not taking a shot, I’m filling an entire tumbler for this because I think I’m going to need it.
So now Idiot is going to defend Ronda Rousey’s honor over the aforementioned terrible tweet and this is just adorable, acting like he’s an actual threat to anyone in that room. He’s only dangerous to someone if he’s coaching them.
VR: Ronda Rousey took umbrage to a comment made about how she hits pads, and decides to call Edmond over? It’s a little sad, she really thought Edmond was either going to intimidate Bryan or that if push came to shove, Edmond was actually going to hurt Bryan. Say what you will about Bryan Caraway, the man had a wrestling background, an amateur and pro record, and a handful of submission wins on his record at that point. Ever see Edmond in a pro fight? Because I sure have. And I’m not impressed in the slightest. Especially since he fought a guy that was 4-12 at the time.
Calling him over like that changed anything is more of a testament to how Ronda Rousey felt she had backup and that Edmond was more than he ever was as a coach and a fighter. And that’s why I rag on him so much, this sort of thing enabled people to suffer very real harm for no reason.
I kind of wish Bryan had shot on him right then and there to expose him for the impostor he is. But it was broken apart for the dumbest reason “Too many cameras here”. Not because it was the right thing to do and would set a bad example for the fighters, who didn’t agree to any of this, but the cameras. Good grief.
DS: Then Idiot says “So long as I live, nobody is gonna break Ronda’s teeth!” complete with a finger pointed in Bryan’s face. No one is fooled by his fronting here, the only reason he’s acting this bold is because there are enough people around to hold Bryan back from shoving his entire foot up Idiot’s rectum.
VR: There’s the other thing, I do genuinely think he cared about protecting Ronda Rousey. And it was nice that he stood up for her. It was the right thing to do, after all. This is a case where the “Let them fight” gif is perfectly adequate, since they’re both trash people. I guess Ronda Rousey really wanted the opportunity to rightfully call out Caraway, but this ain’t the guy to make Caraway quake in his boots.
But all credit to Edmond for having her back and at least trying to show face when it mattered, even if Bryan didn’t start the argument in that moment. You gotta hand it to him, whether he could back it up or not.
DS: He’s only protective because without Ronda Rousey he’d be assistant manager at a Taco Bell. Oh now that he’s across the room and well out of Bryan’s punching range, it looks like Eddie The Idiot’s mouth is going to write even more checks his ___ can’t cash. You know what, I’m going to stop here otherwise the next four paragraphs would just be me viciously mocking him. But TLDR, I hate this guy, I really really do.
Besides, we’re only three weeks into this adventure, I need to pace myself.
VR: I’mma keep it real, I don’t get tired of pointing this stuff out here. This is the most prolonged exposure and there were so many signs of what was to come that we just kind of didn’t see at the time. I still stand by what I said a minute ago regarding Edmond stepping up, but there’s no need to prolong that.
DS: While the Ronda Rousey hype train hadn’t yet reached the insane level it would a few years later, this is where it really started gaining momentum. If you weren’t around back then, people were theorizing that she was so good she could beat a man in the UFC, then move over to boxing and dominate there just like she had in MMA, and then she was going to go to Hollywood and become the next A list actress.
Too bad for her and Idiot they didn’t know their hype train was more like Thomas The Tank Engine and they were eventually going to run head first into a Union Pacific Big Boy in Holly Holm.
VR: Well, that’s the thing with a lot of elite talent in MMA. That aura of invincibility is quite a thing. It just doesn’t go away slowly most of the time. Just sort of… explodes.
DS: It’s finally fight time and Beal is walking the 30ft to the cage wearing a blacked out hockey mask, exactly why I don’t know. And is it just me or does Holdsworth resemble the kid brother of a friend we all had growing up?
VR: I swear he looks like an amalgamation of a bunch of the kids my son goes to school with. Seems nice, though.
DS: Victor is better than I am when it comes to breaking down and analyzing a fight, but it looks to me like Beal’s bad hand doesn’t become an issue until about half way into the first round.
Blue Chris tags Green Chris with a right that sends him crashing to the canvas and he pounces landing elbows and then starts looking to secure a guillotine. Beal does the best to fight it but is forced to tap out after about 10 seconds.
VR: Earlier in the episode Beal talks about what he expects in the fight and he says something about being ready for Holdsworth’s “Jiu-Jitsu stuff”. Which for a pro fighter at that point in time… doesn’t sound great, you know? Submission grappling is already integrated in mainstream MMA training.
That phrasing sounds like it was out of 1994, not the 2010s. Beal absolutely had some submission grappling chops, but Holdsworth had him dead to rights on that guillotine and adjusted his legs beautifully for the finish. Looked alright on the feet, too. It was a pretty good fight.
DS: So while Ronda Rousey’s team drops to 0-2 giving everyone a frowny face, it worked out for Beal as he would eventually get himself a UFC contract the following year just like Shayna. Next week it will be Jessica Rakoczy taking on Bloody Elbow’s own Roxanne Modafferi and we’ll be here to cover all the action. If my bottle of Maker’s Mark doesn’t run out.
VR: Save some liquor for later, the time machine probably runs on it.
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