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Misfits Boxing’s The Prime Card is on Saturday and with it the most stacked cross-over boxing event to date. The two main events are KSI vs. Tommy Fury and Logan Paul vs. Dillon Danis (unless Paul fails to make weight or Danis fails to show up).
The card is also stacked with Misfits Boxing favourites like Salt Papi, BDave and Astrid Wett. I have twisted some arms and gotten staff picks for the entire card out of my colleagues here at Bloody Elbow.
We are unanimous in believing not very good boxer Tommy Fury will beat even worse not very good boxer KSI. And we also all believe that, should Dillon Danis step foot in a boxing ring, he won’t be in there long.
You can see the rest of our picks for Misfits Boxing The Prime Card below.
And yes, I hear you, with your “What happened to Bloody Elbow?” “Why is this here” etc. etc. etc.
Fact is, these shows bring in more traffic than anything other than the top 1% of UFC PPVs and Canelo Alvarez fights. If we want to keep the lights on here, we have to compete for where the revenue is and this weekend, that’s Misfits Boxing.
Doing that means we can then spend revenue on stuff we’re more known for: like John S. Nash’s financial reporting or Karim Zidan’s explorations of sportswashing. If you like that stuff, you need to accept that we have to do this junk to pay for it.
If you’re into this stuff, good for you. It’s not good boxing, but it’s entertaining at least.
Misfits Boxing The Prime Card staff picks and predictions
KSI vs. Tommy Fury
Tim Bissell: KSI has gotten this far by taking out fellow hobbyists who, like him, learn one punch and then coast along spamming that move until it lands. It worked on Faze Temperrr, but against Joe Fournier he looked on route to being exposed. Fournier had a smidge of actual boxing pedigree. Tommy Fury has a smidge more. So I expect Fury will be able to guard against KSI’s very telegraphed overhand punch and pepper away with light jabs to earn a less than spectacular decision and claim the Misfits Boxing cruiserweight title. Tommy Fury by decision.
Anton Tabuena: Fury is not very good, but he does suck less. Tomy Fury by decision.
Zane Simon: I’m sorry, but KSI can’t actually box. The fact that he can box better than other influencers who can’t box isn’t a great argument for any other level of boxing skill. Tommy Fury via decision (because he’s also no great shakes).
Nate Wilcox: Tommy Fury is a mediocre to bad pro boxer who doesn’t try very hard. KSI is a YouTube influencer who seems to have been working hard on his boxing. It’s too little, too late. Tommy Fury by decision
Victor Rodriguez: The guy raised in and around boxing against the part-timer that just started doing this not long ago. Am I reading that right? Tommy Fury by TKO.
Staff picking KSI:
Staff picking Fury: Tim, Zane, Nate, Anton, Lucas, Stephie, Victor, Kristen, Chris
Logan Paul vs. Dillon Danis
Tim: Logan Paul will knock Dillon Danis out if they fight at Misfits Boxing’s The Prime Card. Danis is here for a paycheque, if he hasn’t already secured enough of it already, but he has zero aptitude for striking and will leave himself exposed for a heavy punch from the much bigger, longer and stronger man (someone who has done this a few times before, too). Against Perry, I still think Paul gets the win.
Not because he is the better fighter, but because he is so much bigger. Against Perry I see him wrapping up the unpredictable brawler and holding as much as he can get away with. With most the fight looking like that, Paul will edge it on the scorecards by also landing a few jabs from range. Logan Paul by KO vs. Danis, by decision vs. Perry.
Anton: Logan Paul is lightyears better than Dillon Danis and will probably stop him easily, but that’s also why I don’t believe that Danis will show up here. If I’m right, I’m going with Mike Perry by late TKO.
Zane: I’ve seen those Dillon Danis sparring videos, he makes Ben Askren look like he took his boxing training really seriously. On the flip side, if Mike Perry steps in, then he’ll absolutely clubber Logan Paul, who can’t box better than KSI. Logan Paul via TKO, round 1 against Dillon Danis. Mike Perry via KO, round 2 against Logan Paul. But my guess is Danis shows up for the payday.
Nate: If Danis actually shows up (I’m betting he doesn’t), Logan Paul should easily box him up for a decision win. But like everyone else said, Mike Perry will utterly brutalize Logan. I’m here for it either way. Mike Perry by KO
Stephie: Logan trounces Danis but gets stopped by Perry
Victor: You know this is a bunch extra nonsense when we can’t even expect Danis to show up this close to the fight. Logan puts Danis in the blender, but Mike Perry sends him to the filthy sewers from Bloodborne with no sanitizer. As a matter of fact, Perry already won. He’s attached to this, his name is ringing, and the general consensus I see is that most people would rather see him fight Logan, not Dillon. Mike Perry roaring from the sidelines and also seemingly getting his life together is the single good thing that’s even remotely in the orbit of this dreadful fight. Mike Perry by knockout.
Staff picking Paul: Tim, Zane, Anton?, Nate, Lucas, Stephie, Kristen, Chris
Staff picking Danis:
Staff picking Perry: Anton, Nate, Lucas (if he ends up getting the fight), Victor
Salt Papi vs. Slim Albaher
Tim: These are two of the better boxers in Misfits Boxing and the cross-over scene with Slim looking especially sharp in his 6-0 record. Salt Papi has a big left hand, but he’s very telegraphed and when he can’t find it, and gets gassed, he’s a sitting duck. Slim should be able to work him over from range and take an easy decision. Slim via decision.
Anton: Historical analysis shows Filipinos are good at boxing and defense, because we’ve had long experience in dodging tsinelas, flying ipis, and colonizers. Salt Papi by KO.
Victor: I heard that Salt dude is actually good and a surprisingly good athlete. Plus he seems to be in even better shape this time around. Salt Papi by Knockout.
Staff picking Salt Papi: Anton, Lucas, Victor, Kristen
Staff picking Slim: Tim, Zane, Stephie, Chris
Deen the Great vs. Walid Sharks
Tim: Since I’ve drawn the short straw a bunch with this stuff, I’ve actually watched a lot of Misfits Boxing and seen all these people fight. The first time they met Sharks was beating Deen before Deen landed a big punch that stunned Sharks. Sharks shook it off and was ready to keep fighting, but turned to his corner (not knowing that would result in a TKO loss).
Both these guys have power and pace in their hands and they seem to have a legitimate hatred for each other (as evidenced by their brawl after competing as teammates at a recent event). Both guys will get their licks in, but I think Sharks will improve on his last outing and get Deen down, setting up a trilogy fight. Walid Sharks by TKO.
Anton: Somehow, even if these guys have a bazillion followers each, I honestly don’t know who any of them are. But being the true professional that I am, I’ve been spending all month doing extensive research and delving into real mathematical fight analysis for this event. Deen by KO.
Zane: Apparently these guys did this last year and Deen won? That’s good enough for me to pick him twice. Deen the Great via decision.
Nate: I’m going with the guy who won last time. Deen the Great
King Kenny vs. Anthony Taylor
Tim: King Kenny is coming off a win over Whindersson Nunes and he’s one of the guys in this realm who has some skill and athleticism. Taylor doesn’t have much about him and fights like he doesn’t care if he wins. King Kenny via decision.
Anton: Taylor is a fighter, but I’m not sure if he is a celebrity. Perhaps that explains why the calculus just hasn’t matched the biochemistry of his recent influencer bouts. King Kenny by decision.
Zane Simon: Anthony Taylor should give this whole fighting thing up if he can’t beat a dude named “King Kenny.” Anthony Taylor via decision.
Nate: Not gonna lie, I’m with the King here. He’s royalty. King Kenny by royal decree.
Victor: No idea who they are, don’t care. King Kenny by decision.
Staff picking King Kenny: Tim, Anton, Lucas, Stephie, Victor, Chris
Staff picking Taylor: Zane, Kristen
Whindersson Nunes vs. My Mate Nate
Tim: Both these guys have lost to King Kenny in the Kingpyn High Stakes tournament. Both are very wooden and leave their chins exposed. So this could be won by whoever lands the first punch. Whindersson Nunes has the better opponents on his record (Popo Freitas), so I’d bet on him to have learned something and be in better position to land that punch here at Misfits Boxing’s Prime Card. Whindersson Nunes via KO
Anton: The meteorology here is clear. Whindersson by KO.
Nate Wilcox: I don’t have to think about this. My Mate Nate? I’m there fellow Nate. My Mate Nate by Nate-ness
Staff picking Nunes: Tim, Zane, Anton, Lucas, Stephie, Victor, Kristen, Chris
Staff picking Nate: Nate
Wassabi Lmao (Alex Wassabi and NichLmao) vs. Los Pineda Coladas (Luis Alcaraz Pineda and BDave)
Tim: The tag team boxing format is impossible to call, but one half of Los Pineda Coladas is sort of a ringer in this world. Luiz Alcaraz Pineda and he’s lit up some guys who have little experience in the ring. I think he’ll carry BDave and beat Wassabi and NichLMAO. Los Pineda Coladas via TKO.
Anton: No need to do research here, two people easily beat one guy. I’ve already seen how this goes, and they should fight Bank and No Money next. Wassabi & NichLMAO by TKO.
Nate: I’m an infamous girl drink drunk and Pina Coladas are my #1 so I’m taking Los Pineda Coladas here.
Victor: They don’t need to do this, do they? Them Pineda dudes by whatever.
Staff picking Wassabi & NichLMAO:
Staff picking Los Pineda Coladas: Tim, Zane, Nate, Lucas, Stephie, Victor, Kristen, Chris
Swarmz vs. Ryan Taylor
Tim: The last time they met in Misfits Boxing Taylor said ‘no mas’ after faking that he’d been hit in the eye or the back of his head. Previously he lost to DK Money by DQ after landing an intentional head butt. He’s one of these characters who is here for the clout and just wants to get out of a fight without getting hurt. He’ll get hit by Swarmz once and turtle up. Swarmz by KO.
Anton: Scientific research papers I’ve found says Taylor might struggle with pressure if his opponent swarmz him.
Staff picking Swarmz: Tim, Zane, Anton, Lucas, Stephie, Victor, Chris
Staff picking Taylor:
S-X vs. DTG
Tim: S-X is totally new to this. DTG has one fight to his name, a loss to Halal Ham last year. Always have to go with someone who has experience at this, since you never know how someone will react to getting hit in the face. DTG via decision
Anton: Evidence based research says S-X is good, but needs more experience to avoid an early finish. S-X via KO, 0:10 of R1.
Victor: XBox Series X by whatever.
Staff picking S-X: Zane, Anton, Stephie, Victor, Kristen
Staff picking DTG: Tim, Lucas, Chris
Astrid Wett vs. Alexia Grace
Tim: These two are interesting characters. They’ve been really working hard to sell this fight for months. They played up an angle that Misfits Boxing wouldn’t sanction the bout so they set up like they were going to do it on their own. Then, when that fight was supposed to go live, they staged a WWE spot which had Wett taken from the gym in an ambulance. I salute the showmanship and hope their hard work ends up getting them paid here. Astrid Wett has looked about as solid as OnlyFans transplants have looked in this stuff, so I think she should be able to get through Grace. Astrid Wett via TKO.
Anton: I’ve already spent extensive subscription based research on this earlier, even breaking down various alternative multimedia that helped me make a very informed decision. Astrid Wett by submission.
Victor: Astrid Wett by decision, I guess.
Staff picking Wett: Tim, Zane, Anton, Lucas, Stephie, Kristen, Victor, Chris
Staff picking Grace:
Chase DeMoor vs. Tempo Arts
Tim: Chase DeMoor is a total doofus who is more likely to get someone hurt by being reckless than he is by using any modicum of skill. This thing is a joke to him and he’s liable to do anything in the ring. He’ll cheat any way he can and I think that will either lead to a win or a DQ in this bout. I’m a little surprised he got the call back from Misfits Boxing after his outrageous DQ last time out. Hopefully Tempo Arts can put him in his place. Tempo Arts by DQ or TKO.
Anton: Emotional algorithms led me to pick Tempo Arts (aka Frankie Love) Tempo Arts by decision.
Nate Wilcox: Chase DeMoor lost me talking trash and throwing bottles at Nate Diaz back in April. Let’s go Tempo Arts
Staff picking DeMoor:
Staff picking Tempo Arts: Tim, Zane, Nate, Anton, Lucas, Stephie, Victor, Kristen, Chris
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