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The way of the ninja is upon us this week, kids. It’s time to put on your ninja mask and dollar store headband as we delve into some weird ninja self-defense and other wacky antics.
But before we get deep into ninja stuff, I’m urging — nay, begging for you people to blow up our mailbag with questions. Substack members get priority, just include your username with the e-mail. Send all questions to Mailbag@BloodyElbow.com. Questions don’t have to be all about fighting, so don’t be afraid to get weird.
After all, none of us has anything to lose at this point.
Ninja lethality
Meet Jeff Prather. A Bujinkan representative that claims to have been a former DEA agent, Special Ops and military intelligence. I’m not going to delve into or attempt to debunk those claims, because I personally find that to be irrelevant for the purposes of what we’re discussing today.
For the uninitiated, Bujinkan is basically an association of martial arts schools and are within the orbit of Ninjitsu. And the history of frauds and goofy instructors in ninjitsu have made the art rather… murky. So when a guy like Prather shows up, you’re going to see some really weird shit. Ninja shit.
Sword technique? Not bad. I’ve seen better, but I’m an absolute dork. This is fine. Efficient, mostly clean movement. Nothing bad to say about this. Check out his weird little sizzle reel, too:
This is where it starts to get hokey. That trip takedown from belly-down? No bueno. But see, we’re gonna let him rock off this. It’s not anywhere near as egregious as the other stuff.
Right into my veins, brother. This is the stuff. This is what will inevitably have me like Walken’s character in The Deer Hunter.
Fellas, ladies, enbys… you know that thing that happens where somebody just puts a knife at your throat like this? Just the tip against that little hollowed out spot?
Well, if you’re a ruggedly handsome motherfucker like Jeff over here, you have options. Lethal ninja options. Behold!
My man on the left went from “Got you dead to rights, varmint!” to “Buhuh, whuuuuuut?” to “Well, goddamn… he got me.” It’s easy. Just turn a bit, grab the knife, flip it back and now it’s on his neck. Because pulling the reverse Uno card with a blade is sage fucking self-defense advice somehow.
And I can’t even tell if this is a seminar for actual law enforcement or the doughy losers that couldn’t even cut it in basic training (which is currently itself a bar that is lower than ever) doing some weekend warrior bullshit. I frankly can’t tell which is worse: our tax money going to this kind of monkey business? Or some amateur dipshit that thinks he’s going to be John McClane out in the wild gaining confidence to escalate conflicts, all in the hope of pulling this fake ninja shit off in real life.
Because the truth of it all is that this sort of thing gets people hurt. And I’m not sure Prather knows nor cares, frankly. Money spigot don’t stop in this racket. Observe how they reset and now he does a slightly different counter to the tip-to-neck scenario.
But aht… AHT… now he asks the volunteer to make the scenario even less plausible by making this a one-arm thing.
This motherfucker just went all “♫Clap on, clap off♫” and yeeted that knife to the other side of the room. Real responsible, Jeff. Somebody might have been standing there. Like this guy.
Seriously, hope nobody got hurt. But, goddamn. Now it’s time for the prestige. Check how everybody’s body language gets real bold here. Final disarm. Go!
It’s the same thing he did the first time, only he’s dealing with one hand and he’s stabbing him in the neck. Great shit, man. More hypothetical martial arts and playing pretend with other grownups. Prather was even consulted by local news in Arizona for citizens concerned with crime in the area. Here’s the footage, courtesy of KGUN, because only in fucking Arizona would you literally have an affiliate named K-GUN. Verhoevenesque it is, Joe.
But if you’ve been on the internet long enough, you may notice he looks a bit familiar. Becuase McDojoLife did a feature on the man previously referred to as “Log Man” that goes into a lot of his claims and some of his more fantastical ninja stuff. Oh, and his wild criminal record and accusations of sexual impropriety. It’s like martial arts scumbag bingo. NINJA!
So while he’s not running in the forest hiding in bushes for more ninja power or getting arrested for painfully stupid and breathtakingly irresponsible criminal activities, he’s now spreading far-right conspiracy theories about the Deep State™ on his website and social media. And no, I refuse to link to any of his trash.
Aikido demolition
YouTube user Chadi really loves diving deep into the grappling of yesteryear. His other main talent is showing the similarities and common elements of different arts as well. This time, we take a look at his breakdown of some devastating Aikido techniques that target the legs. There’s a lot to munch on with this one.
Kudo knockouts
Here’s a rather old compilation of Kudo Daido Juku knockouts, and there’s a beautiful flow to some of these exchanges. These guys were doing some damage back in the day. We’ve highlighted this before, and it’s some ruthless competition.
More Silat technique
This week we’ve got a double dose of Silat action. They’re both quite short but big on being sweet. Check out this collection of in-competition throws courtesy of Silat World.
And here we’ve got one of my favorite techniques in absolutely anything, leg scissors. Just smooth, they make it look very effortless.
Senegal serenades
Here’s my personal highlight for the week: Senegalese lutte. You know they don’t just wrestle, right? There’s nothing but knockdowns and knockouts in this one. And some — particularly that first one — will make you breathe out real deep.
It’s all in the mind
Here’s a nugget for my fellow olds out there: the Karate stage from the PlayStation classic PaRappa The Rapper.
Be easy, kids. Don’t miss the new Nintendo Direct coming this Thursday (tomorrow). In the meantime, eat your vegetables and wash your feet. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.
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