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Martial arts is serious business, kids. We cover it daily and see some truly shocking things, but today’s entry will have some of the deadliest stuff we’ve ever seen. But before we get to that, let’s cover a bit of business.
Please remember that our Mailbag submissions are always open over at Mailbag@BloodyElbow.com. Substack members get priority, so please include your handle in the e-mail. Questions do not strictly need to be about martial arts, but it helps. Just don’t ask me to co-sign your mortgage or any dumb shit like that.
No-touch plot twist
You already know what it is, baby. No-touch knockouts are back.
Feast your eyes on “Grandmaster” Tom Cameron, a man whose martial arts lineage simply does not matter in any way. Usually you’d see a Karate guy that looked like this with some style or technique you never heard of before, and you’d most likely (and correctly) assume “well, this guy doesn’t look like he’s had a lifetime of dedicated martial arts training.” And in most cases, you’d be correct.
See, athleticism varies. It is a spectrum. Some guys are tremendously talented and physical marvels in one arena and turn into the character from QWOP the moment they’re in a different environment. You can’t just look at an old guy with a potbelly and think he was never a graceful or impactful athlete. But you can tell by the way this man moves his martial arts training is quite minimal.
As for his assistant in this demonstration? She’s just fucking jazzed to be there, thank you very much.
First order of business is some good old-fashioned martial arts self-defense you may not have seen before. Not because it’s good, but precisely because of how laughably impractical it is.
Sure, just punch the wrist and then hit him with a punch of your own. Especially as a smaller person, that’ll totally do it. Yup. No Notes. But that’s not all Grandmaster Tom has in store. Ho ho, no way.
Got all that? Grab the thumb, punch the hand to force the assailant’s hand open, then grab the pinky and twist the hand. Turn your partner, do-se-do, then give him a classic hi-ya! kick to the mouth. Premium martial arts on display, baby.
And now, the true main event. Grandmaster Tom and his mentee are going to give you a demonstration that is going to blow you away.
Or maybe just… blow him away? It’s a twist you don’t expect in these vids. Usually the no-touch sensei is the untouchable one.
Everything about this is just delicious. It’s a simpler time, an artifact of the public access television era. Back when you could be a paranoid kook giving out bad advice or a wholly unqualified sex “expert” giving out bad advice. You just paid a fee and could be seen on regular-ass television. It’s what we had before YouTube and podcasts.
Which makes all of this so amazing. You’re not gonna get this anymore. A martial arts demonstration featuring a fat schlub getting knocked out by a smaller woman that would rather be literally anywhere else. The set design? Elite. The guy ready to catch Grandmaster Tom? He earned that taco dinner. Tom’s tracksuit pants? Almost as cool as a pair of fucking Zubaz.
Little lady over here launched an invisible Hadouken, and Tom just ate that. And you know we here at BE love us a good Hadouken. It’s a technique with proven efficacy in real fights. And Tom not only takes the brunt of psychic damage here, he also both falls on his other assistant’s knee and then takes an even uglier tumble.
Just the ugliest thud. He’s gonna be seeing stars when he comes to, mostly on account of them ugly-ass decorations on set. I’ve seen first grade plays with better design. But we gotta get him conscious first. And how do we do that? Master Tom gets sat upright and literally smacked into reawakening.
I’d be a lot happier if I could tell you all that this is all just a relic of a bygone era, that people don’t teach and preach this kind of trash. But at least we get some chuckles out of it.
Silat highlights
Check out this set of Silat highlights from Silat Fan TV over on YouTube. This is from the Singapore championships a few years ago, and there’s some beautiful stuff here.
Combat SAMBO
Yes, you read that right. SAMBOFIAS has a nice Combat SAMBO matchup that really shows why fighters with this base just hit the ground running when it comes to MMA.
Killer Kurbanov
Lechi Kurbanov is a Kyokushin tornado we’ve seen before. Here’s another really cool look at this guy and the brilliance and elegance of his Kyokushin technique.
Low kick carnage
Here we have another gem from Muay Thai Scholar, a compilation of nothing but leg kick finishes in Muay Thai.
The genius of Dany Bill
If you know the name Dany Bill, you know that he was capable of what could legitimately pass for actual magic in the ring. If you don’t, you can thank me later for giving you a brief introduction to an innovator and a legend.
Muay Thai Scholar also brings us this one, and Bill is doing the absolute most in his performances. He grew up in France and started training and fighting in his teens, and took off from there.
He still tours and does seminars, and teaches kids while dropping some cool technique vids and glimpses into his life over on Instagram. Check him out.
That’s it for this week, kids. Drink your milk, it’s good for your bones. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.
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