WTF: Get hype for shocking North Korea military training

It’s a busy time for all of us worker bees here at the BE hive. Late summer typically brings some pretty strong booking for major events, and there’s a lot looming over the horizon. Bellator just had a nice event, UFC 292 is this weekend along with KSW 85 and more PFL playoffs, and there’s tons of smaller events with fun action.

That doesn’t stop us here, though. We still make time to give you some midweek shenanigans and astounding antics. This week, we got something a little different out of North Korea to kick things off.

But before we take you there, I’d like to remind you all that we’re still taking submissions for the Bloody Elbow Mailbag. Please feel free to e-mail us at Mailbag@BloodyElbow.com, and no, we’re not raffling off tickets to North Korea. Maybe we should. I’ll have to ask Nate about that. Substack members get priority and questions do not have to strictly be about fighting.

North Korea is not playing around

If you’ve had even a passing interest in military training, you’ve probably heard about Hell Week. It’s the separation of wheat from chaff when it comes to Navy SEAL training, and it’s got a reputation as one of the most brutal and difficult military training regimens on Earth.

Now, I’m not gonna say that what they do in North Korea makes the SEALs look like Brazilian children’s programming, but I can confidently say that the Navy isn’t in the business of doing any bullshit like this.

If you’ve been here for a long while, you’ve seen the weird and hilarious North Korea memes we’d share pretty often in the old comments (RIP). But we never actually had a conversation about this. First off you have a minute of tribute to Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, because of course. I mean, the whole show is basically for him.

And it is just now that the realization dawns on me that he may in fact be reading this shit right now. Like, it’s not statistically impossible, you know? If he is, please remember: Mailbag@BloodyElbow.com. I do weddings and Bar Mitzvahs, please subscribe to the Substack.

But yeah, this no meat, no vegetables. It’s just a giant bucket of Holy Shit Ice Cream and it’s served with a fucking ladle. First it’s a bunch of shirtless dudes doing katas. Whatever, we’ve all seen that before. Then they all get in line and beat their forearms against some plank wrapped in what appears to be rope. Been there, seen that.

Then it’s time for the real stuff. A sequence that appears choreographed has two soldiers throwing kicks, and one of them stops a kick with a kick of his own. The other guy tries a Double Dragon 2 spinning kick, gets caught in mid-air and dumped on his ass like a sack of rice. Typical American Ninja (starring my sworn nemesis Michael Dudikoff) stuff and at least it looks cool.

“Yeah, you thought, bitch…”

But see, that’s not enough. He then runs over and jumps to demolish some plates.

It’s like he went from the boss fight to the bonus stage, but all angry.

By the way, I hope you either love seeing bricks being broken or just despise masonry.
There’s a lot of that following this, and now I want to open a brick and ceramic factory just to keep these guys stocked and make bank. My kid gotta go to college, man. If that money gotta come from North Korea, that paper still getting stacked.

Behold!

Then there’s my mainest man over here looking like the Goro Daimon of North Korea breaking a bottle and laying on the glass he just broke. Oh, that’s just the setup for what follows.

They put the Stone of Shame on his abdomen and take a fucking sledgehammer to it.

It’s a marvel that the urban population density is so low in North Korea, you gotta wonder how that happens when they do this instead of build shit.

I dunno how much these guys get paid, but it ain’t enough. There’s just now way. These two cats push rods against each other. Sheer will exerting pressure.

Good god, just look at this shit. Looks simple enough until you realize the horror of what they do next.

My brother in Christ, you could have just used the sledgehammer to break these things. But now I must ask you, dear reader: shall thou live dangerously?

Fuck.

FUCK.

From there, it’s pretty much over. You can’t top that. You really shouldn’t try to. Yes, his hand is still there, but I don’t have to be a doctor to tell you that his body was absolutely not happy with that. What follows is marching with weapons, rappelling, and then this fun little bit with the Supreme Leader of North Korea showing how he deals with the haters.

“I told him to Google me, that my name was Mookie Alexander…”

Kim Jong-Un, I respectfully request you invite me to North Korea to see this shit in person. I don’t even know what I’d get out of it, and I hope you treat these guys extra nice. Also, subscribe to the Substack, please and thank you.

Caught slipping

African Warriors Fighting Championship is still delivering with some exciting matchups. Here we have another tense duel ending in an impressive flash KO. As usual, don’t blink.

Furious fisticuffs

YouTube user RADIKAL Videos has some terrifying collections of knockouts across combat sports, but this boxing compilation takes the cake.

More boxing? Yes!

Here’s another lovely tribute and mini-documentary from History of Boxing, who clearly puts a lot of care into their work. This one’s focused on the magnificent Salvador Sanchez, an innovator of his era and one of the most dynamic and exciting featherweights of all time.

Watch out for the big guuuuuuurl

SAMBOFIAS doesn’t stop delivering the goods, either. This time we’ve got a nice, short and sweet match from the Asia and Oceania championships. I had to watch this one a few times because it’s so beautiful in its simplicity. In celebration, here’s some optional listening music.

She’s good, and she knows she’s good.

Dedication

We’ll end the week on a high note, a little something cute. Check out this future black belt showing off some tenacity.

That’s all there was in the cookie jar this week, kids. Blue Beetle drops this week, and it looks dope. Hope you’re ready for the “is Batman a fascist or not?” arguments in the weeks to come. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.

Victor Rodriguez

Victor Rodriguez has been a writer and podcaster for Bloody Elbow since 2015. He started his way as a lowly commenter and moderator to become the miscreant he is now. He often does weekly bits on fringe martial arts items across the globe, oddball street combat pieces, previews, analysis, and some behind-the-scenes support. He has trained in wrestling, Karate, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and the occasional Muay Thai and Judo lesson here and there. Victor has also been involved with acting and audio editing projects. He lives in Pennsylvania where he plays way too many video games and is an S-rank dad.

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