WTF: Kung Fu wizard completely obliterates four attackers

Another mystical Kung Fu Tai Chi master uses all of his might to bounce guys around like the balls from Arkanoid.

By: Victor Rodriguez | 5 months ago

Hello again, kids. Uncle Victor here. Yes, I’m looking forward to the absolutely stacked UFC event this weekend. But since we’re a few sleeps away from that, we’ve got your fix for midweek violence and a taste of the absurd. It’s the least we can do.

And yet again, I’d llike to personally thank you all for continuing to support our crew. I speak for all of us when I say we appreciate your efforts in keeping us independent. Now, let’s get to some shenanigans, shall we?

Another Tai Chi wizardry lesson

Meet my new friend, a Kung Fu and Tai Chi master I will simply refer to as Stu. And Kung Fu Stu is a menace, a one-man weapon of unlimited power that cannot be defeated by conventional means. You cannot beat him.

Yes, kids. This is another no-touch chi master. He’s going to have people touch or grab him and he’s going to have them flying around like Neo had the army of Agent Smiths. No mercy.

You already know what it is. Look closely at this following image. Bearded master in the middle, surrounded by younger (but not actually young) acolytes. It’s the same formula. It’s almost always a guy, and it’s almost always going to end with him demonstrating a power level that is off the charts and beyond the means of mere mortals.

Kung Fu chi master about to blow some minds, son
“Y’all ain’t ready for me, son. Watch.”

We venture into these waters often, and the one thing that always sticks out to me is the question of what exactly these guys think they’re going to learn and how long they think that shit is gonna take. Harnessing the power to push and control people and objects appears to take decades, and I always wonder what keeps them looped into these absurd training situations.

But as I always say, that’s the power of suggestion, baby. These Sifus know what they’re doing, and these cats are just so in awe. And I low-key respect this guy for keeping the Tung Fu Rue aesthetic alive. Shit, somebody’s got to.

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Prayers up for my mans up against the wall, he had to have suffered the worst of it. But that’s the thing about mystical Kung Fu… once is never enough. Once more, with feeling:

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They all look like they’ve been kicked into a Spartan well all at once. This the kind of Kung Fu even the Greeks wouldn’t fuck with. Imagine this potency in the hands of the Persians? Frank Miller would’ve only needed three pages. That would free up his schedule to be an even more abhorrent Islamophobe, but that’s another conversation.

But not all of this is ruthless violence. There’s a bit of playful tenderness in here somewhere. We get to the 1 on 1 segment, and he pushes this guy back with a demeanor that almost says “Get outta here kid, you bother me.”

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That gets followed by the one lone geezer that’s probably just a few months younger than the Kung Fu “master” leading the festivities. I was thinking he was gonna push him the hardest and make him eat shit. Instead, he’s kindly escorted to the wall like a true gentleman helping his elderly grandpa cross the street.

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Solidarity amongst the elderly, makes my heart sing. Good stuff. But he’s far more ruthless against the younger whippersnappers that make their way to test him. Observe.

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The fool says in his heart: “Clearly this man is pushing himself away from this fraud of a master!” And to that I say… yeah, kinda. My man got some good distance on that one, too. At least he looked funny doing it, the only benefit to this absurd display.

I say it all the time, Kung Fu is a lovely thing to train in and behold. There’s so much to absorb, so much to learn, so much expression and beauty in it as art. But when you get to the point of faking mental powers to gullible rubes, that’s just low. Gotta be more honest with your people, old guy.

Dambé knockouts? Oh, we got some

The crew over at African Warriors Fighting Championship have not stopped giving us gold. Here’s another small batch of some shocking action, including a slightly delayed KO that is dynamite. Check it out right here.

Grigalashvili, the marvel

Tato Grigalashvili is a Georgian Judo sensation that is simply divine to watch. Check out this video from Judo Highlights, who keeps doing extraordinary work week in and week out. This is a highlight video you don’t want to miss. This guy isn’t even 25 yet and he’s just doing amazing work out there.


Karate hours are back, kids. Here’s another antidote to that wispy Kung Fu stuff we started with. Check out this collection of Karate knockouts:

Slams and takedowns? Sure!

Here’s a collection of some truly impressive wrestling takedowns, slams, suplexes and throws. Lot of grit in this, because none of these were given – they were all earned. Trust me, I wish I was as good at writing as any of these guys were at wrestling. Hell, I wish I were as good at anything as these guys are at wrestling. Aside from cooking, though. Because I’m real good at that shit.

And now, something different

Today we’re gonna end things with a look back at the 3 Ninjas franchise. A series of action films for kids that ticks all the requisite boxes for schlocky 90s martial arts cinema:

While I’ve never seen a full movie in the series (and seriously doubt that I’m missing anything), I want to point out the most interesting thing about this: director Shin Sang-Ok, who was sometimes credited as Simon Sheen. While directing 3 Ninjas: Knuckle Up (the second in the series), he served as executive producer for all three films in the series.

Shin was a Korean director that had produced over 100 films and is credited with directing 87 of them. His most notable work before coming over to the U.S. was Pulgasari, a North Korean version of Godzilla. How did that happen, exactly?

Well, that story is told in the documentary The Lovers and the Despot, which details how Shin and his partner Choi Eun-Hee were kidnapped by North Korean agents, taken north and forced to make movies for Kim Jong-Il. It’s a tragic story that twists and turns, with Shin being put in impossible situations.

From being an innovator in Korean cinema, to a hostage making films for a dictator, to then making popcorn action bunk like 3 Ninjas, it’s a very strange career arc. It’s also not just an interesting story in and of itself, but another example of just how strange the circumstances are surrounding martial arts cinema sometimes.

That’s it for this week, kids. Be sure to check out Season 3 of Warrior on Max. If you haven’t seen it before, what’s wrong with you? Catch up on the first two seasons quickly before Zaslav deletes that shit too for one of his mistresses to get another Benz. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.

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About the author
Victor Rodriguez
Victor Rodriguez

Victor Rodriguez has been a writer and podcaster for Bloody Elbow since 2015. He started his way as a lowly commenter and moderator to become the miscreant he is now. He often does weekly bits on fringe martial arts items across the globe, oddball street combat pieces, previews, analysis, and some behind-the-scenes support. He has trained in wrestling, Karate, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and the occasional Muay Thai and Judo lesson here and there. Victor has also been involved with acting and audio editing projects. He lives in Pennsylvania where he plays way too many video games and is an S-rank dad.

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