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Since we’re still trapped in Hellworld and people are still talking about this farcical UFC fighting challenge between Tesla and Twitter boss Elon Musk and Meta man (that’s Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp to you) Mark Zuckerberg and the (extremely remote) possibility that it will happen in the UFC Octagon, I thought I’d do a little round-up of some of the latest.
Elon’s dad chimes in: ‘No win situation’
Erroll Musk, retired engineer, talked to Fortune Magazine about the bout and what he had to say wasn’t optimistic.
“The thing is if this crazy fight goes ahead, if Elon beats this guy, Elon will be called a bully, being so much heavier and taller, while if he loses the humiliation would be total. “It’s a no-win situation for Elon. I think Elon has got himself into a difficult situation as a result of high school behavior.”
Matt Brown makes unfavorable comparison to CM Punk
Talking to MMA Fighting, UFC legend Matt Brown wasn’t stingy with his opinions. Brown earned his 24-19 record the hard way, against some of the toughest men in the world, people like WEC champ Carlos Condit and UFC Hall of Famer Donald Cerrone.
“It’s a P.R. f*cking scandal. I’m asking the MMA community to be more intelligent than this. Can we see through this? If they do [fight], yes, I’ll f*cking watch it, you’ll watch it, we’ll all watch it and you know we’re going to vomit when we watch it. Like what the f*ck did I just watch? Why did I stay up until f*cking midnight watching this? We’re going to hate ourselves for it.”
“When we watched CM Punk lose to Mike Jackson — it was one thing to lose to Mickey Gall because we didn’t really know much about him before but come to find out he’s a legit f*cking fighter. But Mike Jackson — CM Punk loses to Mike Jackson, did anybody walk away from that going, ‘I’m glad I watched that.’ Now imagine two guys that are not even as good as CM Punk. Like CM Punk would probably beat both of them. I don’t get the interest in seeing these guys fight.”
Dana White: “The biggest fight in the history of the world”
UFC boss Dana White is predictably bullish about the bout going on The Pat McAfee Show to say stuff like this: “Zuckerberg takes this very serious, man. He’s very into this sport, he trains and has been training for years. Now he’s starting to compete in jiu-jitsu tournaments and the talks that I’ve had with Elon, Elon trained in martial arts, too. He’s done jiu-jitsu and he says, ‘Listen, I grew up in South Africa, I’ve been in a lot of fights. It’s not like I haven’t fought before.’
“I’m working on it. I think that this will be the biggest fight in the history of the world and I think it will set a record that will never be broken if it happened.”
Kid Nate’s fight predictions
I was contacted by Nicole Narea of Vox.com and asked to comment on the “fight.” Rather than just sit here being bitter about how much traffic their post is getting, I thought I’d share my comments here. IMO, the two billionaires see the friendly confines of UFC fandom as a “safe space” where they won’t be subject to the kind of hate they see from users of their own platforms every day.
“The younger generation of MMA fans in particular are willing to fanboy for billionaires,” I said. But let’s get to my actual fight predictions.
“Whenever you have amateur, non-athletes trying to compete in fight sports, it’s always a crapshoot. You don’t really know what to expect since you’ve never seen these people fight competitively before. The only fight outcome I can really promise you is that both men will embarrass themselves and that if one of them has a distinct physical advantage over the other, it will not be pleasant to watch unless you enjoy watching beatings.”
The business beef that’s behind all this
Vox explained the business conflict that is driving this nonsense. Meta is working on a competitor to Twitter and bragging that it would be “sanely run” — apparently in contrast to the way Musk has been running the blue bird site.
Reuters did a fairly clever breakdown of the two men’s business empires as if they were previewing a fight and scored it advantage Tesla. Despite Meta’s massive advantage in cash on hand (they have about $37 billion in cash on hand), Tesla’s revenue is growing more rapidly AND Elon Musk has a secret weapon: governmental favoritism.
Its vehicle-charging network may become a core part of America’s infrastructure backbone, and its battery-production operations could power not just cars but the electric grid. Governments want what Musk is selling; that’s not so true for Zuckerberg. That game changer tips the balance in Tesla’s favor, regardless of who dominates the cage.
Elon’s Mommy calls a halt
Don’t worry. The boys seem much less likely to actually fight in the cage now that Elon Musk’s mother has stepped in to put a stop to it.
Zuckerberg denies Chael Sonnen’s claims about the fight
UFC legend Chael Sonnen went on the MMA Hour and made some pretty wild claims, namely that Zuckerberg personally called him to say that the fight would be taking place at UFC 300.
“Zuckerberg contacts me because he saw your tweet that I’m coming on,” Sonnen said. “Zuckerberg has told me that he has agreed to fight Elon Musk at UFC 300 and it was a very big deal. That just happened. [My producer] Ethan is my witness, my son, Thero, my dog, Duke. This is a shoot.”
TMZ contacted a Meta spokesperson who promptly debunked all of Sonnen’s claims, saying, “I have confirmed with Mark that he did not call Chael Sonnen.”
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