Welcome back, kids. We’ve got more of the midweek violence you’re missing in your life, and it seems the theme this week is exercises in futility. Don’t worry, we’ve got some brilliant stuff from actual skilled martial artists to go with it. So let’s dive in.
Iron Palm Kung Fu put to the test
We return to our pal Jerry over at Fight Commentary Breakdowns and he’s got two gems for us this week. We begin with yet another in an endless line of hapless Kung Fu guys going outside of his comfort zone.
There’s a lovely start to this, and it’s a cute little bit on a street where our lovely and handsome guy here decides to demonstrate his Iron Palm™ technique by breaking bricks on the curb. Yeah, he does well with it. But much like board breaking or whatever the POWER Team did, does it translate well to fighting?
Nah, man. Come on, you know why you’re here. Do better. Mr Palm isn’t gonna do well and that’s expected. You read the damn headline.
Right off the bat you see he doesn’t have a traditional boxing stance. Because of course, that’s for wimps. We do Kung Fu in this house, not that regular punching shit:
They engage quickly and things devolve into a sloppy clinch followed by a bunch of flailing from the Kung Fu guy. Take a guess how many actually land.
The girl, though? She’s pretty damn good. She punishes the dude and starts nailing him with body kicks and punches.
And his responses? Not great, man!
Dude goes out sad after getting beat up. At least he doesn’t seem to be mad that he got beat by a woman. There’s no shame in that. But she’s not one of them little bricks he was breaking earlier.
Part of me wants to give the guy props for stepping up and doing something challenging. Clearly he’s never done straight boxing or kickboxing before. But I can’t even muster the energy to do that. It just feels like a waste of everyone’s time. The post-match interview was even sadder.
We know, dude. We saw.
But we’ve got one more item to look at in this cagetory. A Taekwondo specialist takes on a Muay Thai competitor.
See, Taekwondo dude looks pretty spry and pretty good here. At least until his opponent starts returning fire. Then he doesn’t know what to do with his body. He just shrimps up and twists to the side.
At one point he pushes her down, and all that did was make her mad. She springs back up and walks him only for him to land this very nice kick to the midsection.
But if there’s one thing Taekwondo guy hasn’t planned for, it’s leg kicks. She’s been peppering them in the whole time. And it starts to add up and pay off big for her.
You already know where this is going.
He fell funny. It gets called off as an act of mercy. Back to the Dojang with you, buddy. Godspeed.
Honey, wake up – it’s Teddy Sheedi again!
The Harlem Globetrotter of wrestling Teddy Sheedi is at it again with some of the coolest antics in grappling. He’s got a reversal for almost everything and keeps tossing dudes on their asses like no one else. If you’re not familiar with him, we’ve featured him before. And he’s always a delight to watch.
We even get this cute little moment. Teddy’s just the coolest.
Muay Thai knockouts from yesteryear
Here’s a lovely collection of Golden Era Muay Thai knockouts. The precision here is breathtaking.
Always a good time for Capoeira
While we’ve seen some MMA fighters bust out fun Capoeira kicks from time to time, we don’t really give the art itself enough love. And here’s an attempt to correct that. Check out this demonstration from over a decade ago that showcases the beauty and artistry of Capoeira.
It may sound quaint to say it’s a demonstration of the human spirit or something along those lines. There’s just so much life in this, it’s a joy to watch.
Kick fever, get hyped
Finally, we’ve got what was the biggest surprise of the week to me. A scene from a film apparently titled Taekwondo Fighters (?). It’s pretty smooth, and the choreography holds up brilliantly. I guess this sort of qualifies as balance seeing how we clowned on Taekwondo at the top.
That’s our time for this week, kids. Hope you’re ready for Street Fighter 6 so that these sign-offs can come full circle. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.
About the author