WTF: Shaolin ‘master’ fights boxer in mall event, learns that praying mantis style doesn’t work

His Shaolin Kung Fu was not enough. That man got shipped back to sifu's doorstep with the quickness.

By: Victor Rodriguez | 2 months ago
WTF: Shaolin ‘master’ fights boxer in mall event, learns that praying mantis style doesn’t work
Shaolin Monk takes a boxing match.

Welcome back to WTF, kids. We’ve got more dramatic, tragic, hilarious, and downright impressive stuff for you this week, and we’re glad all you readers are here for the ride. Seeing as there’s a good amount of international action this weekend in MMA spaces, we’re here to deliver more of the fringes of martial arts and combat sports in general. Including Shaolin Kung Fu, Dambe Warriors, and Sambo.

There’s a lot to look at this week, mostly due to the fact that we’re starting off with something that even by our usual standards could be pulled straight out of a Will Ferrell movie. Or perhaps a Kevin James classic like Paul Blart, what with the pratfalls and physical comedy.

Another Kung Fu guy eats it in public

Readers may remember that last week we had a Kung Fu practitioner visit an MMA gym. First he taught a bit, then he sparred. Then he managed to get blitzed and embarrassed on Bad Bunny’s internet like it was the thing to do. This week, we’ve got a much more enhanced version of that.

We begin, as usual, with our mainest man Jerry over at Fight Commentary Breakdowns. This time it’s a Shaolin guy that Jerry himself refuses to consider a master. And he’s right to do so! This guy seems to have the mannerisms down, but nowhere near the kind of flow and form expected from a Kung Fu master. Unfortunately he’s agreed to a match against an MMA fighter. The MMA fighter in question was in another video against a Wing Chun practitioner, and must have come to some sort of agreement beforehand with ‘Mr Shaolin’ since he only uses his hands and is wearing boxing gloves.

Know what? That’s fine and fair. Shaolin Guy decides he’s going to use all of his techniques while the other guy boxes. Sure. Let’s do that. There’s no way the guy with the gloves stands a chance against the power of tradition wielded by a man that forged his body in the fire of his will.

Man, listen…

MMA guy kind of takes it easy and doesn’t pour on too much pressure. Shaolin Guy decides to dazzle with wildly flailing arms and all that, gets nothing off it. He even tries to do the Interpol Detective Lei Wulong special, and the results are less than elegant. MMA guy just picks his shots and lands at will. Head, body, head; he’s having a field day. And why shouldn’t he? It’s all free. Not like Shaolin Guy seems to have had any experience whatsoever in this arena. I doubt they were teaching the Philly shell at the mountaintop temples. Here the tiger stalks his prey:

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Shaolin Guy does some spins and whiffs with big wind-ups that are seen from a mile away. The second-hand shame is already strong at the 1:35 mark, but don’t worry. Not like it’s gonna get worse.

Then it got worse.

Shaolin Guy’s Kung Fu was not effective enough. First he tries to do a bit of Drunken Fist. It’s not clear he was even intending to land anything:

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Aside from a cute bunny hop he used to pop pack and avoid imaginary offense, he had no more tricks up his spacious and stylish sleeves. MMA guy realized he left a pot of beans softening on the stove at home and decided to end this charade once and for all popping out the 1-2. Thank you for coming, good night.

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Dude was deaded. My man on the right was rightfully wondering what choices had to happen to lead to this. Ain’t no Kung Fu lineage that prominent for someone to go out on their shield like this.

Even better (or perhaps worse?), the video doesn’t end there. See, that’s just one angle. It turns out no less than three people recorded this and you get to see all of this in glorious HD. It’s one thing to live on the internet forever because a bad thing happening to you, but it’s another thing when there’s enough angles for an ESPN replay.

Godspeed, Shaolin Guy. May the winds of Kung Fu carry you to a nice beach somewhere.

Dambe knockout bonanza

This is lovely. Nigeria’s Dambe Warriors has compiled another collection of one-hitters in a nice and neat little package. As all of the best Dambe action, this is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it affair. Some of precision in these punches are absolutely marvelous. Check it all out right here:

More beautiful Sambo highlights

SAMBOFIAS continues to dole out more great action for us to enjoy from the 2022 Youth and Junior Championships. This match was short and sweet, but has a ton of detail packed in. Daria Rechkalova in the blue gi worked a takedown, scrambled to the back, and immediately shifted opponent Palina Hrametneva to her side. Then the battle for the armlock began and it was tense.

Notice the fight for the grip, the leg extension, then the switch once the grip breaks as Rechkalova tries to find the proper angle while extending her opponent’s arm. Lovely finish.

Here’s another one from the same event, in which Mokhigul Komiljanova faced off against Ekaterina Doroshenko. Doroshenko tried multiple takedown attempts and had them all stuffed until just past the 3:00 mark where she shifted from a failed takedown to pulling back and working an armbar. The payoff she was looking for didn’t come and, but the positional battle continued with Doroshenko. The drama got heightened as cardio came into play, with Doroshenko getting the judges’ nod in the end.

Cyrus Washington is a real one

We mentioned him last time, and another time before. We’re gonna give him his own spotlight today, because the dude is pretty impressive. Martial artist Cyrus Washington has put himself in the fire as a Taekwondo practitioner that got involved with Muay Thai, Kickboxing and Lethwei. He has is own YouTube channel with some of his fights. He also features instructionals on striking technique as well. This week we’ve got him against Saw Nga in a brutal back-and-forth Lethwei match.

Tribute to Nong-O

Finally, a lovely video featuring feared and celebrated striker Nong-O. The always amazing Lawrence Kenshin has put together this video showing some of his most shocking finishes, but most importantly, it showcases what makes him so brilliant. This was a very fun watch, enjoy it.

That’s it for this week, kids. Try not to let stress get you down. And remember – you might think you can fight, but there are many guys like you all over the world.

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About the author
Victor Rodriguez
Victor Rodriguez

Victor Rodriguez has been a writer and podcaster for Bloody Elbow since 2015. He started his way as a lowly commenter and moderator to become the miscreant he is now. He often does weekly bits on fringe martial arts items across the globe, oddball street combat pieces, previews, analysis, and some behind-the-scenes support. He has trained in wrestling, Karate, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and the occasional Muay Thai and Judo lesson here and there. Victor has also been involved with acting and audio editing projects. He lives in Pennsylvania where he plays way too many video games and is an S-rank dad.

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