Got a humiliation fetish? Just $1000 will get your name in the UFC Octagon

There’s nothing in the rule book that says the world’s largest mixed martial arts organization can’t run shop like a high school gymnasium in need of a new hardwood floor. Despite seemingly ever-increasing massive amounts of annual revenue, the UFC is always on the lookout for new ways to disentangle its fanbase from their finances.

Sure, things like VIP experiences, autograph signings, meet & greets, or even fight-worn paraphernalia, might offer diehards a chance to enhance their enjoyment of MMA through actual physical objects and experiences. But, what about the fan that wants spend a whole lot of money and get almost nothing in return?

Say no more, we got you.

In a post to their social media sites, the UFC announced that for the small price of a mere $1000, fans can see their name “hand painted” onto the Octagon.

By the look of things, names will be printed on the black band separating the center of the Octagon from the perimeter. Whether that will be big enough to actually make them discernible on camera during the event is anyone’s guess.

It’s a one-event-only offer (for the moment), for the upcoming UFC 288 fight card. After the PPV is concluded, the UFC will mail you proof of your humiliating excess, in the form of a plaque with a photo, and that section of canvas that has your name on it. I suppose if fans are really lucky, maybe one of their favorite fighters will spit on it, or rub their feet over it too.

Then again, maybe this is the best chance for Bloody Elbow to get a shoutout at a UFC event since the glory days of ‘Killa B’ Ben Saunders. I’ll go dig into my couch cushions.