It’s time to gather ’round the campfire and munch on some smoked sausages, because we have a brand spanking new penis story to add to Bloody Elbow’s collection of genital-related articles. Joining the likes of Ray Elbe and Waylon Lowe on this list is none other than UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman.
A week out from his UFC 194 co-main event title defense against Luke Rockhold, Weidman appeared on Huffington Post Live. When asked about the worst injury, he mentioned a broken collarbone, to which the interviewer asked how he protects “the important stuff,” referring to his groin. Lo and behold, that’s when the conversation shifted towards the time he got his penis caught in his zipper in elementary school. Yup.
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“I actually got my penis caught in my zipper when I was in first grade… I became a UFC fighter, but the worst thing that comes to my head instantly is my penis getting caught in my zipper… that was the worst thing ever,” said Weidman.
“The paramedics come in… They can’t get it off, they’re looking at each other like, ‘I can’t believe this.’ Then they cut my jeans off completely to where only things left [are] the zipper and me naked, including all my teachers and principal, everyone looking at me when I’m naked. It was terrible. Then they put me on the stretcher and of course the bell rings in the school, so everybody comes out of their classes and I’m going out on a stretcher and everyone’s like, ‘What’s wrong with him!?'”
But wait, there’s more! In the years following that embarrassing incident, Chris’ brother upped the ante by saying his penis was amputated. Not to worry, as 6th grade Chris Weidman had the Urethra! Eureka! moment to prove to his peers that he was in possession of his dong.
“And then my brother, who is three years older than me, told everybody that obviously my penis got caught on my zipper and they had to amputate my penis. So until I was in sixth grade, everyone thought I had no penis… So in sixth grade I was just kind of whipping it out everywhere, like, ‘Look at me! I have one!’ once I gained the confidence to pull it out.”
So there you have it. Chris Weidman has once and for all dispelled the rumors that he lost his penis in the 1990s. You can watch the full video of said conversation (Note: He doesn’t whip it out) at the top of the page.
(All transcription done by MMA Mania)
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