Whenever a major UFC event concludes, the combat sports world churns out more analysis, instantaneous reactions, hot takes, luke-warm takes, cold takes, spit takes, and standard takes than the brain can reasonably process. This weekend was no different when Ronda Rousey KO’d Bethe Correia in the UFC 190 main event.
Judo Chump: The Cantore live TV knee to the nuts
TV Weatherman Jim Cantore delivers a swift knee to a college kid attempting to interrupt his broadcast. We break down his technique.
Depending on how this first edition goes, I’m going to be regularly unleashing my fireball takes to the world after every UFC pay-per-view/major event. Everyone has their opinions, but I have “hotpinions”. As the old cliches goes, “if you can’t stand the Heat then go re-sign with the Cleveland Cavaliers.”
Disclaimer: These opinions are 100% serious and are all factually based and therefore correct.
Ronda Rousey would destroy T.J. Dillashaw
Joe Rogan set social media ablaze when he got super emotional to the point where it sounded like he was about to actually tear up when waxing poetic about Ronda Rousey following the Correia KO. I think the mockery is unwarranted, because I was bawling my eyes out. As I type this up on Monday afternoon, my basement has turned into an aquarium. To see the biggest favorite in UFC history come out and win like the biggest favorite in UFC history made me turn on the waterworks instantaneously. This reminded me of the 1992 Olympics, when the “Dream Team” of NBA superstars ran roughshod over the rest of the world’s hoopsters towards a gold medal, and the nationwide emotional outpouring was so strong that President George H.W. Bush declared a state of emergency in 37 states due to a massive flooding of human tears.
Ronda Rousey is a once-in-a-generation athletic marvel. There’s no sense in her fighting other women, because there’s no money in speculating about reality. Not a week goes by where the “Would she beat Floyd Mayweather?” question gets asked by either fans or media members who don’t cover MMA and/or boxing. Personally? I think Rousey would be way too much for Mayweather in a boxing match, but that’s for another time.
The best fight to make right now is Ronda Rousey vs. T.J. Dillashaw. It’s champion vs. champion in the same weight class, and I would have to favor Rousey considerably. In the time it took for Dillashaw to finish Renan Barao (15:35), Rousey could’ve finished Bethe Correia up to 27 times. Rousey knocked Correia down with one decisive punch, whereas Dillashaw’s barbie-ass hands couldn’t put Barao down one time in their rematch. Dillashaw has a dismal 38% takedown completion rate, whereas Rousey’s is nearly double that. TJ only has one submission in his entire UFC career, and that’s against Vaughan Lee, who is English, so it almost doesn’t count.
In summation – Rousey is the better, more powerful striker, better wrestler, and better submission specialist. She’s a better finisher and does so in much quicker fashion, because she knows never to almost leave it in the hands of the judges like Dillashaw does on a regular basis.
The American obsession with how top female athletes/teams would fare against their male counterparts is healthy and sensible. Just the other day I was wondering how many goals the US Women’s World Cup-winning team would beat the German men by. Germany only scored once in their World Cup final against Argentina, and even that was in extra time. Carli Lloyd had a hat-trick within 20 minutes and the American women hammered Japan 5-2.
Show me where I’m wrong in my logic, because I’m scanning this for accuracy and it is on point.
Bethe Correia still owns the Four Horsewomen
Correia may have lost to Rousey in lopsided fashion en route to the very first one-punch KO in the history of women’s MMA bouts in the UFC, but that still doesn’t take away from the fact that she is 2-1 against the vaunted “Four Horsewomen” quartet of Rousey, Jessamyn Duke, Shayna Baszler, and Marina Shafir. If my college basketball knowledge is anything to go by, any win over Duke is a major upset, and Duke won the national championship this year, making Correia the lineal NCAA March Madness winner.
The rivalry between Correia and the Four Horsewomen is not over. Correia is still winning. My suggestion? Go up to 145 and take out Marina Shafir in Invicta, then she’d hold victories over 75% of the stable, which rounded up to the nearest hundred is 100%. Rousey may have won the personal grudge against Correia, but Bethe still has the upper hand on the scoreboard. The only way Rousey can end the rivalry once and for all is to rematch her two more times to erase any doubt.
Shogun Rua is back and gunning for the title again
The UFC 190 co-main event proved once and for all that not only is Mauricio Rua back, but he’s gunning for that belt again. Shogun’s leglock win over the fossilized remains of Nogeirasaurus Rex proved that his two previous “losses, but really victories in spirit” were just bumps along the road back to the top. Rua is ranked #8 in the crowded light heavyweight division, and beating another ranked opponent in Shogun shows he’s still a force to be reckoned with. When Rua’s knees didn’t disintegrate into dust after each thudding body kick he landed on Nogueira, I knew that he’d regained his mojo in a way that will make the rest of light heavyweight collectively shit a brick.
Fun Fact: Shogun is undefeated in years that end in 5. He went 5-0 in 2005 on his way to winning the PRIDE MW Grand Prix. This year he is 1-0. If there’s ever a time for him to make a move towards a title shot and recapture what was once his, it’s now. Gustafsson is fighting Cormier coming off a loss, Shogun has more wins over the last two years than Gustafsson does. I know whose title shot is more justifiable, and it’s the one who doesn’t come from the region that participates in that Eurovision nonsense.
Four-hour PPVs work, and we need them longer
It was genius decision-making by the UFC (and presumably Globo) to extend the pay-per-view window an additional hour. If you break it down economically, $60 divided by 7 fights works out to about $8.60 per bout, and there were THREE championship fights that evening, not one as you were led to believe. Those two TUF Brazil 4 Finale instant classic were tournament championship finals, where “life-changing” $10,000/$10,000 contracts and a TUF trophy worth AT LEAST a few bucks on EBay were on the line.
You have to see the big picture to realize what a fantastic idea the four-hour PPV proved to be. The fans had the option of watching extra fights or using the excess amount of main card action to do other stuff such as “anything else.” And everyone felt satisfied with the main event because it was violent, exciting, and far less time-consuming than watching the bigger Nogueirasaurus freeze up at the unusual sight of the young Struveasaurus’ jabs.
I think the UFC can improve upon their pacing of the last event. Here’s what I have in mind for next time Rousey headlines a PPV:
- Sixteen-hour broadcast with 30 main card fights.
- Each hour includes a 15 minute preview of various surefire cinematographic masterpieces starring Kevin James, Kevin Hart, and/or Adam Sandler.
- Satellite interviews with Conor McGregor are beamed after every 3rd fight, along with an interactive fan poll where viewers can vote on which fighters McGregor is capable of beating regardless of weight class.
- Between the 15th and 16th main card bouts, a special live performance by the Dropkick Murphys, accompanied by special guest Anthony Kiedis singing the biggest hits of the Red Hot Chili Peppers — I pluralize “hit” because I am still unsure as to whether or not they’ve really just had one big song playing on the radio all this time.
- With fan impatience at its boiling point, Joe Rogan will share his list of MMA fighters who remind him of Mike Tyson, while Mike Goldberg smiles and stares at the camera and nods in agreement even when Diego Sanchez is brought up as “the Mike Tyson of air punching.”
- Preceding the co-main event is a special “Fan vs. Fighter” race around the arena using Harley Davidson motorcycles. The competitors will ride for 25 laps with the winner granted an additional Harley Davidson motorcycle.
- Before the main event, 29 of the best performing fighters of the evening gather in a stirring musical ensemble and serenade Dana White with their collective plea to get those $50,000 bonus checks.
- Ronda Rousey defeats her next opponent in 25 seconds, the amped up crowd and purchasing audience applauds another fine destruction, and the UFC profits again and asks the question, “Can we do a 24-hour PPV?”
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