Thursday night, in St. Louis, Missouri, the old guard of collegiate wrestling and MMA came together after the second round of the NCAA college wrestling national championships to honor one of their own… sort of. Dan Henderson and Chael Sonnen were on hand, alongside Royce Alger, Rulon Gardner, and Billy Baldwin (among others) to roast former UFC heavyweight champion and light heavyweight champion Randy Couture. No punches were pulled.
MMAFighting has a transcript of Henderson’s and Chael’s entire segments, but here are a few highlights:
About Couture’s marriages:
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Sonnen: Randy, I will give you this. The one wife was hot. Well, she got hot when she left with half of your money. Boom, roasted!
Henderson: Look, Randy seriously is a great fighter. He’s a legend in the sport. I think he’s spent long fighting that his personal life is starting to mimic his fighting life. If you seriously think about it, his fighting life and his marriages are real similar. They get together, they roll around a little bit, he mounts them a couple times. Next thing you know, 15 minutes is up, there’s a judge involved and the whole thing is over.
Well, his fighting is a little better than his marital record. I think he’s like 0-5 now in marriage. But typically, unlike his fights his marriages have ended in him tapping out.
About his Hollywood lifestyle:
Sonnen: Now, the thing we love about Randy is that if you were in any type of jam, any type of trouble at all, you know that you could pick up the phone and call him. And as sure night follows day, within two weeks you will have an e-mail from his assistant’s intern asking you to refrain from any and all future contact.
Henderson: Expendables had a great cast. I love it. You got an old fighter, you got a guy that can barely speak English, you got a guy that publicly cheated on his wife with a maid that wasn’t so good-looking. And that’s just Randy. The rest of the cast is great as well.
And, of course, about other notable MMA figures:
Sonnen: You guys all think he’s here because he’s famous. But you couldn’t be more wrong. If you think he was famous for being UFC champion, listen. I was out with him last night. Trust me, he’s not famous at all. Now, people did walk up to him, because they thought he was Dana White. And he looks like Dana White if Dana was to exercise, eat well, grow a beard and do an eighth of coke every night. Boom, roasted.
Henderson: Chael, no snorting at the table [looking at Sonnen]. Jon Jones isn’t here to do that.
There’s a lot more really good stuff in there, including a fun story about Couture failing to help Dan Henderson beat up some bouncers at a bar. So check the whole thing out. And, if you’re really interested, you can watch the entire event, streaming, for just $7.95.