THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME
“I do everything better than him, and I’m bigger than him and stronger than him!” – Jason “Mayhem” Miller, analyzing a rumored fight with Jake Shields. (Cage Potato)
“He’s the one that won’t sign the contract.” – Shields, bully beatdown. (Gracie Fighter)
“I don’t understand, people think that because he stomped out some 170-pounders and caught Robbie Lawler in a damn guillotine, that all of a sudden he’s the second coming of Christ.” – Miller. C’mon, everyone knows Jesus was a natural bantamweight.
“I think Jake Shields’ ground game is overrated and I will be more then glad to end his win streak and take his belt away.” – Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza, not wanting to miss out on the festivities. (AD Combat)
“And I also would like to send a message to the clown Jason Miller, you made a huge mistake to follow me into Strikeforce.” – Souza, equal opportunity trash talk.
“When did I say that? That’s hilarious!” – Miller, when asked about calling Jacare a “poop” headed Brazilian.
“He must think he’s Cung Le now.” – Shields, none too pleased with Mayhem’s foray into Hollywood.
RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
“Not really. Everybody talks about the UFC. I really respect the fighters in the UFC, and they are the biggest show in the United States, but to me everything is a business decision.” – Miller. I suppose hosting a show where complete rubes get beat up by professional fighters could be classified as a business decision too. (MMA Fanhouse)
“It’s like this: Would you want to work for the best car company, but work for free? Would you want to be a waiter at the best restaurant but you never get any tips? Of course not.” – Miller, with the grace, eloquence, and logic of a Bloody Elbow commenter.
“On top of that, I’m in the EA Sports video game, and I heard Dana White said that if you’re in that video game you can never be in the UFC.” – Miller
“Of course. Is that a secret? Is that something people don’t realize?” – Miller, when asked if he thought the UFC “strongarms” fighters into signing deals.
SWIMMING UPSTREAM
“I am embarrassed to admit that my first thought was that, ‘If he cut me and I can’t go back to England, this is not worth it.'” – Sean Salmon, detailing his mindset during a fight that he claims to have thrown in order to stay healthy enough to – get this – train at the Wolfslair in the UK. (MMA Junkie)
“He went for an armbar, I defended it (only to prove to myself that he couldn’t get it), and then I put my arm back in to give him the win so that I could return to England, healthy.” – Salmon. If you’re throwing a fight, do you really need to defend the armbar to “prove” that you could?
“Just so you all know, that is the most embarrassing thing that I have ever admitted out loud.” – Salmon. Mine? I enjoy watching What Not to Wear.
OHHHHHHH DREAM CATCHER I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET ME THROUGH THE NIIIIIGHT
“My friend came up with (the Dreamcatcher), so blame it on him.” – Strikeforce light heavyweight champ Gegard Mousasi, detailing the origins of his unfortunate nickname. (Cage Writer)
“I don’t like nicknames, to be honest. I have a lot of nicknames.” – Mousasi. The irony.
“I told Strikeforce that I didn’t want to use a nickname, but they put it up anyway.” – Mousasi. Maybe he can use the belt to leverage his position a bit?
ONE…TWO…FIVE! THREE, SIR! THREE!
“I was saying [last week] I wish this was a five-round fight, Nogueira and Couture, and there’s been other fights, too, that I’ve wished were five rounds.” – UFC President Dana White. The Nevada State Athletic Commission recently opened up the door allowing five round non-title fights. (MMA Junkie)
“But I’m a purist, man. Title fights are five rounds.” – White. A purist? PURIST? All you “purists” out there, please explain what the f— a “purist” is. Also, the sport’s not even twenty years old, and the current rules haven’t even been around for a decade.
“But, I think that’s what’s so special about fighting for the title. You fight for the title, and it’s a five-round fight; you don’t, it’s a three-round fight.” – White. Is this some inherent truth about the universe that I’m not aware of? Because this is a completely arbitrary situation that could very easily be rectified.
PARTING SHOTS
“I got foot swept while sparring this week and lost my legs.” – Mike Swick, pulling out of UFC 103 because of missing limbs. (Twitter)
“He’s not sitting around thinking about how him and his mom used to watch the f—— Love Boat together and he wants to get the role of Isaac the bartender.” – Dana White, reacting to the news that Quinton Jackson is taking the role of B.A. Baracus in the new A-Team movie. (MMA Torch)
“Just on that, I can kinda set him up for a knockout just by faking an injury or something, just jump in and out his offense a little more than not.” – Brett Rogers. Not gonna need much acting on that injury. (Sherdog)
“For some reason, God prepares surprises for you, and that’s life.” – Demian Maia. Pretty painful surprise. (Sherdog)
“I don’t like just to watch fights without thinking non-emotionally about it. I really like to worry, and be involved emotionally and worry about someone I know, and to help them.” – Best fighter in the history of mankind and all-around swell guy Fedor Emelianenko. (Cage Writer)
“He’s full of s—. He looked like he weighed about 250.” – Dana White, on a bet with Chuck Liddell. Liddell needs to get under 215 by the middle of the month. (MMA Junkie)