MOISES ALOU DID IT WRONG
“My father does that for a long time and bring it to us. People think it’s a joke.” – Lyoto Machida, set to reveal the secret for his success. Herbal tea? Raw blowfish? Some kind of Brazilian dance I don’t even know about? (Tatame)
“I never said it in the United States because I don’t know how the fans will react.” – Machida. Hm, we Americans can be a tight bunch. Maybe it’s a pre-fight orgy? Some S & M action? Fedor’s naked spa and leaf beatings?
“I drink my urine every morning like a natural medicine.” – Machida. F— my life.
IT MIGHT WORK FOR JULIUS CAESAR, BUT YOU, SIR, ARE NO JULIUS CAESAR
“I think it could work. I really do.” – Affliction COO Tom Atencio discussing the tentative plan to counter-program UFC 100. (MMAJunkie)
“But at the same time there, obviously there’s a lot of – no matter what I do, I’m going to be criticized for it. I guess it really doesn’t matter either way if I do it or I don’t do it.” – Atencio. Would you like to have a fourth show or not? Then yeah, it kinda matters.
HOW DOES GENGHIS KHAN FEEL ABOUT IT?
“How do I feel about them trying to counter-program UFC 100?. I love it. I f—— love it.” – UFC President Dana White…loves it. (Five Ounces of Pain)
“What they should be worrying about is — they’ve already seen first hand that nobody gives a s— about Affliction MMA — what they need to starting worrying about is nobody wants to wear their goofy f—— clothes anymore either.” – White, underestimating the armies of macho frat boys desperate to signal their manliness.
YEAH, I CAN HATE ON WHITE GUYS TOO
“I don’t plan on letting [Rashad Evans] stay champ for long.” – Former UFC light heavyweight champ Chuck Liddell who must be planning a sick run-in during the Machida-Evans fight. You’re only relevant because Joe American still thinks you’re a badass. (Fighters Only)
“I thought I was winning that fight.” – Liddell, on his fight with Evans. That’s nice. It’s too bad you woke up wondering how Rampage knocked you out again.
“I made a mistake, got caught and dropped.” – Liddell, who happened to make the same “mistake” against Rampage. And “dropped” is putting it lightly. Rashad took a couple years off your life, bud.
C’MON GUYS, LET’S LEAVE PAT SMITH AND TANK ABBOTT OUT OF THIS
“F— Jake Shields’ b—- ass.” – Joe Riggs, how do you really feel? (Versus)
“I have done enough in this sport to be f—— treated with a certain amount of respect, and to talk about me like I am a f—— Pat Smith or Tank Abbott.” – Riggs, really looking forward to next week’s quotes from Tank Abbott.
“For one, I am like six years younger than that punk ass m———–. So, f— him.” – Riggs. Yeah, f— older people.
“I would really, really fight Jake Shields for free just to shut his mouth up.” – Riggs, I’d like to go on record and say that I’m available to promote this fight. All profits will be donated to the Human Fund.
IT REALLY ISN’T NEWS UNTIL MAYHEM OPINES
“Look, don’t have the rule if you’re not going to enforce it. Don’t even have the rule.” – Jason “Mayhem” Miller, frustrated by NSAC’s impotency with regards to the greasing scandal. (Sherdog)
“Let’s just cover ourselves in baby oil and let’s fight. Lets do it.” – Miller. Screw the fighting. Just douse yourself in baby oil and roll around with other dudes. Arianny? Nah, we don’t need her. Just you and GSP and Tank Abbott. We can’t leave Tank out of this one.
“I would fight Georges with a tire iron. We both have a tire iron and a trash can lid and I’d fight him like that.” – Miller taking the next step in MMA evolution.
THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS
“I want to provide a great spectacle for those who are at home.” – Former Pride middleweight champ Wanderlei Silva announcing plans to fight Rich Franklin in the nude. (Sherdog)
“A lot of people came and said, especially after that last fight, that I must retire. I am very young and I still have something to show.” – Silva, who is a perfect example of Karl Pilkington’s “looks 78, is actually 32.”
“I listen to people, [when] I enter the Octagon, saying, ‘We will watch this because this will be a good fight.’ While people keep saying that, I will continue fighting.” – Silva, on his way to becoming MMA’s Muhammad Ali?
“I will be there to knock out or be knocked out.” – Silva, (insert frowny face here).
AT LEAST THE TRASH TALK WILL BE ENTERTAINING
“According to him what he’s saying and his wife and everybody, they want me dead. So it’s really exciting.” – Former UFC welterweight champ Matt Serra. I guess a death threat isn’t very intimidating when you live in mafia-infused New York. (Sherdog)
“I know where he’s really dangerous. What do you want me to say? He’s a swell guy and I can’t wait to fight him? F— him.” – Serra, I mean, how can you hold a grudge against a guy who boasts about beating up his dad?
WHITE NOISE
“I called B.J. to tell him to stop with the BS and to start f—— training.” – UFC President Dana White, really enjoying the whole GreaseGate business. (BloodyElbow)
“When Chuck used to fight in the smaller shows, he would sleep on Mask’s couch. That’s the kind of guy he was.” – White, with a nice little anecdote from MMA’s past. (The Fukerton)
PARTING SHOTS
“He’s like a freight train.” – Dennis Hallman, who holds two victories over Matt Hughes, explaining that Matt Serra needs to look to finish early before Hughes builds up steam. (The MMA Fiend)
“That’s something that’s already been arranged, it’s all practically a done deal.” – UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva talking up a boxing match with Roy Jones Jr. after his UFC contract expires. I hope he knows about the squashed Sylvia/Mercer bout. (Gracie Mag)
“I wouldn’t train to beat Jeff Curran, I would train to hurt Jeff Curran.” – Miguel Torres, badass as usual. Curran recently called him out in his hometown. (Versus)
“He’s already in nice shape.” – Demian Maia, on Mauricio Rua. “Shogun” is now prepared to fight effectively into the fourth minute. (Sherdog)
“When I get to the UFC, I want people to say ‘Bobby is good enough to go for the title.’” – Bobby Lashley, a long ways off after his performance against Jason Guida. (Pro MMA Radio)
“That’s hitting the damn lottery. How are you going to act when you win $10 million. Do you care what other people think? Hell no!” – Brandon Vera explaining why he doesn’t fault Matt Hamill for his post-fight celebration at UFC 96. (Cage Writer)
“I have to address the Chris Brown-Rihanna situation. It’s not cool to put your hands on a woman. If you need someone to kick his ass…holla.” – Din Thomas being Din Thomas. (Cage Writer)